Sudan Here I Come!

So, I officially leave for Sudan in less then 12 hours! I have a bit more packing and rearranging left to do, and a few emails, then I'm off to bed for a very early morning! :)

To be honest, I've had some mixed feelings about all this - not that I'm not totally convinced of the Lord's Will in me going to Sudan, but just experiencing a lot of little fears or questions and feelings of inadequacy! :) But, I had a really good time with the Lord today, while sitting on my room porch looking up at wonderful clouds...

I was reading Jeremiah 17:7-8... it says at the beginning, "blessed is he who puts his trust in the Lord, and who's trust IS the Lord." Humm... Then it goes on to say that, "he will be like a tree planted by streams of water, not fearing the drought, and always bearing fruit" (well, that's my paraphrase). But I was just thinking about how, for a tree, life is water - with out it, it will die. And then the Lord brought an image into my mind of what my 'trust' in Him looks like... the picture was of me, eyes squeezed tight and me holding my breath! Ha! - what sort of trust is that!? :) Sure I was willing to "jump" - I trusted that much... but, I was un-trusting enough to feel the need to shut my eyes, hold my breath and wait, or at least be prepared, for the crash! I have not been a tree planted by streams of water, experiencing life...

Wow. Clearly I am having trust issues. I spent sometime praying, and chucking at that accurate image of myself, as the Lord spoke to my heart and pretty much told me to take a "chill pill" :) He reminded me that He has CALLED me here... He has prepared me in ways I don't even know yet... I am more prepared then I think I am, or He wouldn't be putting me on that plane tomorrow morning. I need to TRUST my Father. He KNOWS me. He knows His plans and hopes and dreams, not only for me, but for the people of Sudan. If I'm going to trust in anything - it sure won't be myself... it sure won't be the pilot or the plane... Why not trust in the ONE who holds the WHOLE world in His hands... created it all, and loves me beyond measure. I want to put my trust in the one who produces that fruit in me because the roots go deep into the soil, getting life from the stream.

Who am I not to trust a God like that? :)