A Sense of Something Greater

Ok, so MONTHS ago I told you I would fill you in on how our Thomaji Outreaches got started every Wednesday... Below you will find the very long, but very worthwhile story explaining it all :) Please read it, as it was the thing that kept me going for 8 months in the clinic, and something I STILL feel was the start of something still to come... simply, just one of those things were you get a sense that you're a part of something much greater than what you know in that moment...

(this is the email I sent to a select few right when it all happened... with a few edits here and there :P )

Hey to all my loves ones :) February 11th, 2010

Today was one of those days where, while showering off the layers of salt and dirt from myself, a smile creeps onto my face and I ask myself, in all seriousness, does ANYONE on this earth live as an amazing life as I am getting to out here...?! Now, I realize that 'amazing' is totally subjective and that bicycling 4 hours in on very bumpy bush paths, getting cuts and scrapes, and hiking your skirt up so you can cross a river, while gradually getting more and more dehydrated, isn't everyone's idea of an awesome day, but it's pretty much tops for me - these reasons plus many more meaningful ones :)

So, to fill you in - while I am working in the clinic these next number of months, I am, by the sheer Grace and Sovereignty of God, getting to do some of those things that I've been dreaming about, at the village level... There is so much to this story, but for now all you need to know is that every Wednesday I get to take 2 of our CHW's from the clinic and travel out to a village far away (a huge village... 4000ppl, on the other side of the river across from Gasmala) called Thomaji. Our purpose in going is to do Growth monitoring of children under 5, and pregnancy screening - for starters anyway. I had been over to Thomaji a few times in the last year and the needs on that side of the river are a stark contrast to what seems like almost 'urban' Doro in comparison (this place really does have 'the ends of the earth' within it's boarders!) Anyway, so a few weeks ago when Sandy and I started taking about this Wednesday outreach thing, the first village that came to mind was Thomaji...

So, today we went out there for the first time - I contacted the wonderful Pastor Daniel out there to have him gather all the chiefs and leaders b/c we wanted to discuss health things with them. I've been dwelling extra on this for a whole week - feeling extremely insignificant, crazy intimidated, and ridiculously honored to have this opportunity. I mean seriously, who gets to sit in a meeting with like 10 elders of a crazy rural village in SUDAN and make plans with them about improving the lives of their villagers!? Why doesn't EVERONE want this 'job' :)? I hardly slept last night b/c I was so amped and going over and over our conversation (in advance)... trying to think about what they would think of our proposed outreach, what their possible qualms might be, everything...

The Lord is so good. Seriously, He was preparing me for this meeting today. I had this odd feeling I couldn't put my finger on - not just nerves, but that somehow this meeting wouldn't be as straightforward, 'gee that sounds great thanks for coming!' as one might like or expect, given our context... Anyway, while I was prep-ing yesterday I felt strongly that I need to communicate that We (the clinic/SIM) care a lot for their villages and people, and that even though they are so far away from the clinic, we want to help them have and attain good health (among other things!) I soon found out why the Lord had me lead off with that assurance of our hearts for them...

So, it turns out that the people of Thomaji essentially feel "forgotten". You see, they live a good 2-4 hours way from Doro (clinic) and Bunj (market) (it's a huge hunk of land, Thomaji), and all the NGO's and people that have come to help the Mabaan people, none of them cross the river... Thomaji has seen very very little movement in the progression of their lives since returning from the war. They have almost given up and are now very skeptical of anyone who says they want to help... Apparently many have come to say that they would help, but they never come back and nothing changes, no improvements are made. This one, very ballsy chief (who I REALLY like), looked right at me and said, "Really, even though you've come all this way to meet with us, I am thinking that you've only come to exchange words, you aren't actually going to help us or give us medications..." Woof. Ok Lord, so how the heck do I give an answer that doesn't promise something I can't keep, but still instills hope without sounding false and empty?? *deep breath!*

Part of our goal in going out there today was to find out from them what concerns they have for their people - what are their issues as they see them? So, in order to get discussion going we told this story about a village that was pretty much over-run with lions. These lions would come into the village every night, wounding and killing people. Many had died. So the villagers tried to figure out what they could do to solve the problem of the lions... Well, they would build a hospital so that those wounded would get treatment... they did that, but the lions kept attacking - so that wasn't the solution... So, next they built a huge fence around their village - so tall that the lions couldn't jump or climb over it and they put big heavy doors at the entrance that the people would go in and out off.... and that solved the problem of attacks during the night, but this one lady, when she took her two children out to her field was attacked and the lions ran off with her little baby... The problem of the lions was still there... what would they do? The village decided that they need to train some of their young men to hunt and kill the lions. So, when they were ready the men left to track down the lions... two of the men died and a few were wounded, but eventually the men came back victorious b/c they had killed the last lion. This was how they solved the problem of lions...

-So, following a more elaborate telling of that story, we asked these leaders what their "lions" are - what were their big issues that needed attacking b/c they were hurting their people...? This was a huge discussion and there's no way I can tell you all that they said, but, they did say some predictable things like "we need more clean water - our people are drinking from the river" (you should see this river, it's like chocolate milk), "we need a clinic - this is our first priority" (of course it is, and they are absolutely right, they DO need a clinic), etc... But, one of the most heart wrenching responses was from a man who addressed me by name when we came to join the meeting (I have no idea how he knows me, I don't recall his face, but that probably made his words tug at my heart even more). He said, "Katta, we thank you for coming, it's good really. And I like this story about lions very much - it is very applicable for us as we have many lions. But, we will be killed completely by our lions - they are too many, and we have no way to fight them. Our Lions are going to kill us before we can kill them." Holy moly - are YOU crying b/c I sure was... (and dang I was trying not too!) How in the face of that hopelessness can I offer our little "under 5 clinics" every Wednesday and think that they should be excited about it...? I felt like I was sitting before a man who was absolutely starving and I hand him one little peanut and then look eagerly at his face waiting for his gratitude. Seriously. Get real.

But, as we know, SO much, the Lord is SO good, and He gave me, multiple times, just the right (I think) words to respond to them. It's SO hard, man, I can hardly explain it to you, to offer what, in their eyes seems like so little... but it WILL make a difference and it IS a start. I told them that I agree with them, they do need a clinic... and as we know things like that take much time... but, I assured them we were on that road with them... this (monitoring the children) is the first step. I said, "when you want to build a house, before you can build upwards, you need to first dig holes in the ground - you go down before you go up..." Such is it with this - even though their ultimate goal is a clinic, these are the first steps... Amazingly, they seemed ok with this. Even though my ballsy opinionated Chief said "I still think you won't show up next week... but it's a good idea" :) He also asked, rather forcefully, "We are all sick, why are you starting with the children!? What about us!?" ... To which I took a deep breath, prayed, and said... "if we don't start with the children but start with you, there will be no one alive in Thomaji tomorrow... We need to start with the children to make sure that Thomaji people are still living here in years to come. If we start with the adults only, you will all die" (man, it sounds really sinister all typed out, but it wasn't said like that... the Lord put the words in my mouth so well that Daniel could hardly wait to do the translation - and it made my cynical ballsy chief laugh :) Then he said, "ok, ok... start with the children" :)

So... NOW do you think I had an awesome day?? There is SO much more I could tell you - but, I have a splitting headache and my bed is calling my name! But PLEASE... PLEASE keep praying for us every Wednesday... I feel like we are walking a very fine line in order to gain the trust of some of these men. I need SO much Wisdom from the Lord and Discernment of the Spirit on what and when to say things. I also need SO much energy to do this - it's REALLY far from Doro and the work out there is going to be incredibly exhausting (plus the weight of responsibility for the 2 CHW's I take out there). BUT, I AM CONFIDENT OF THIS... the Lord is ALL OVER IT.. it was HIS idea, and HE has NOT forgotten these people (as I told them repeatedly today). HE will give us what we need to accomplish what HE has set out to do - and amazingly enough, He's letting us be apart of it... is there seriously anything better in this whole world then knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord is working and wanting you to join in?? Woof! :)

Ok you guys... I love you - thanks SO much for praying about today - and thanks in advance for praying about EVERY Wednesday! :) I'll try to keep you posted. I'm really excited about visiting that one Chief's village - that will be two weeks from now :) hehe... over time, I pray he trusts us... but more than that, I pray he learns to put is trust in Jesus. Pray for us, pray for them. Thanks you guys. Feel free to pass this email along to others.

An exhausted but very contented, Chris xoxo

**It's important for you to know that this Chief and I are now very good friends :) His name is Binge Loude, and when we arrived in his village for our first week, he came over to our group to greet us, looked right at me & stuck out his hand... "You CAME"... "Yes, we CAME". This exchange IS part of a typical Mabaan greeting, but for both of us this day, it had a double meaning :) Please continue to pray for this man... I'm anxious to have more stories to post about him in the future :)

****Congratulations... you made it to the end****

here it is... finally!

farwell to another year

Well... I cheated and am posting this much beyond when the date claims! (my OCD wins again... I wanted one more post in 2010!!)

I realize how desperately far behind I am in my blogging... I`m so sorry. But, thank you for continuing to come here and check to see if I`ve posted anything new... your faithfulness blesses me :)

I will attempt to post today, the video I have played for churches and friends all across Canada. It is a great collage of pictures from my first two years of living and ministering in Sudan - from my time of Language learning, to working in the clinic - it`s all there... briefly :)

There are so many things I wish I`d written about over the past few months... some of which I will try to do during the next few weeks, as some stories and things just really need to be recorded on something permanent... until I write my book that is :P just kidding. Sitting here right now and looking back, I find it rather fascinating how much I just couldn`t bring myself to blog or post pictures on Facebook just after I left Sudan. Somehow posting about it would have forced me to re-live the pain of leaving, and I just couldn`t bring myself to do it. But, sitting back on this continent again, with my people just a little bit closer, geographically, and talk in the air of when we`ll be able to return to Sudan... my thoughts constantly travel back to my final days there... and there is so much for you to hear about.

I`ll do my best! But, in the mean time - enjoy these beautiful faces!

By Faith

It's no accident that this morning's message in Gasmalla, was on Hebrews 11... the Hall of Faith chapter. Although I could follow along with the Scripture reading, and SOME of what Yohanna said, his point was this... "By Faith all these lived and served God... and this is the sort of Faith that God wants from us..." I have to say, I didn't think too much about this message after the service, but carried on to have a great time with my lovely friends out there...

Then this evening, during our Khawaja Sunday service at the compound - it was no accident - that Rob chose to take us on a 'path of remembrance' for those missionaries who served and died here in the 40's...

By Faith, two couples and one single nurse started out to this isolated land on donkey back, to bring the Gospel to the Mabaan people. By Faith they served here for 3 years (or less for a few), learning language and falling in love with the people. By Faith they stayed although danger was not far off. By Faith they looked danger in the face, and By Faith, the Lord chose to allow that danger to take their lives. By Faith the team of four remaining, buried one of their own on August 23rd, and then his wife the next morning. By Faith the rest stayed on, continuing to give of themselves and serve the Lord their God, by serving His people.

By Faith, all these served and pressed on, believing their labors were not in vain... And, it's with this cloud of witnesses who've gone before that there are those today, who By Faith, continue to serve the Lord by serving His people here in Mabaan. Because of the Faith of those who've gone before, we have the opportunity to have Faith and Vision for today - because of the seeds these Faithful planted, we continue to sow and reap today.

By Faith (some days more than others) we serve here now, choosing to believe that our labor is not in vain (some days this is easier to believe than others)... and By Faith we believe that the Lord, knowing the 'big picture' knows what this tilled ground will look like another 70 years from now. Will the memorial cemetery, where these Faithful lay, have more added? Will this country see yet another war and more destruction? Will the Mabaan church continue to struggle or will it flourish? Will one day... the cloud of witnesses be added too with Faithful from within the Mabaan who go out to serve By Faith, to bring the Gospel to another tribe who has yet to hear?




By Faith we believe. By Faith we walk forward. By Faith we serve. By Faith alone we bring Him Glory.

According to Kev

Today I thought it would be good to give you a bit of an insight into my everyday life, so you can understand a little of what it is like for me living my life as a superhero nurse in deepest darkest Africa. So, here is a day in the life of Christiane Fox.

6:45am: We have to get up stinking early for team devotions. Well I say we, I never actually go unless I’m leading it. Instead, I sleep in until as late as possible, before going for a freezing cold shower to wake me up. After my shower I head to the dining room to find out what the banter is with my colleagues, and encourage them with a bit of dry sarcasm.

7:45am: Time to head to the clinic for work, so we all (me and my fellow superhero nurses) clamber on to our trusty steed, a Honda trx quad bike 350cc (I’ve got an eye for mechanical detail) and make the 3 minute 45 second journey to the clinic. Although I call it a clinic, the place we work is nothing at all like what you are probably imagining. It’s more of a bombed out shell of a building that smells really bad and doesn’t have proper doors or windows. Here is a picture of the scene that awaits us most mornings:



8:00am: Now it’s time for devotions with the clinic staff (a bunch of Sudanese guys of around my age). At the moment we’re reading through Joshua, I don’t know whose bright idea that was but it’s given us ample chance to discuss circumcision together...what better way to start the day.

8:20am: Time to go out and face the masses (see photo above). Now you might have thought that all these people would be super appreciative that we are here making every effort to attend to their various ailments. Well sometimes they aren’t. We routinely get more people than we can see in a day and have to turn the excess away. Generally, they aren’t happy about this, particularly if they’ve travelled from a long way away, but that’s life.

8:30-11ish: Having upset all the people we’ve turned away and handed out numbers to all those who we will see (kinda like when you’re waiting to pick up the stuff you’ve bought from Argos), it’s time to get down to the serious business of seeing patients with interesting, odorous and occasionally downright disgusting infirmities, and helping our CHW’s do likewise.

11ish time for tea and seriously tasty mandazis. Good times.
11:30-2pm: More clinic craziness. On a good day I’ll get the chance to drive back to the compound to pick up some item of questionable importance. Gives a break from the intensity of seeing patients all day. Sometimes, we get to see some outrageously disgusting stuff, the kind of thing that would make you throw up your dinner. Sometimes we see so many patients I think I might go crazy. Sometimes we see children who are almost certainly going to die. It’s a wonderful world.

2-3pm: Lunch time...

3-6ish??: More patient madness. Sometimes people turn up late afternoon expecting to be seen. Unless they are dying it’s not going to happen...
After clinic finishes it’s time for an evening of fun filled banter. Kicked off with the challenge of cooking over a charcoal fire. Sometimes some of my good friends on the compound will offer to cook for me, although this arrangement is not without it’s problems. They like to debrief about the day and share ‘highlights’, but what if your day didn’t have any highlights..?

After dinner it’s internet time for a while, and then off to bed. If I’m on call, I might get the chance to take a late night trip up to the clinic to save the day once more. On a really good day I’ll get to wake one of my colleagues to come and help me. That is one of my favourite late night activities...

And that’s it, a day in the life of me, and a marked change in tone and language from my previous posts...I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you interested.

(can you tell?? I've suddenly picked up a Scottish accent ;)

Rhoda

One day every week, we nurses at the clinic are given a 'ministry day' - a day 'off' from the clinic, but with the intention of making the most of the day by getting involved in some other ministry outside the clinic walls. For the past few months, I haven't taken full advantage of this day. After eating some humble pie from a co-worker encouraging me to get my rear in gear, I am finally using this day to do something that I feel is totally valuable, and bringing much Joy to my heart :)

Please met my friend Rhoda :) Rhoda is a wonderful lady, mother of one little boy named Marcus and is currently expecting another (hopefully before I leave for home in August!!), and wife of a fabulous man, named Bulus who used to translate for us at the clinic, but is currently going to secondary school in Yabus.

Rhoda is a lady who is full of joy, always ready for a good joke or laugh, a hard worker (works at the clinic for a few hours 3 days a week keeping it clean - quite a task!), and is very generous... Just before I left for Nairobi two weeks ago, she gave me and Amy (clinic co-hort) a pair of earrings each, directly from her ears to ours :) Rhoda is a wonderful lady.

Rhoda, like most Mabaan women, cannot read. Bulus tells me that she did go to primary school in the refugee camp, but didn't complete her 3rd grade. So... a few weeks ago, Rhoda and I talked about it, and decided that every tuesday, I'd go over to her house, and we'd "do books" together... by the Grace of God Rhoda is learning to READ!!

It's rather amazing to sit with a grown woman, who, although she is younger than I, is so much farther ahead in life, and watch her eyes and lips struggle to identify the letter in front of her. I can hardly tell you how much joy we BOTH get when a letter that she finds particularly hard to remember just comes and clicks into place! We both laugh and grab each other's hands as if we're 5 years old, and then she'll flip the page, grow serious again, and try to remember the next one.

We're only a few weeks in, but she is already improving. In spite of my lack of Mabaan to explain things, and my inexperience at teaching anyone to read English, let alone Mabaan, she is a great student and dearly wants to know how to "do books" :) Please pray for me, as I teach and for Rhoda as she tries to 'study' and run a house as a single mom, with Bulus 3 hours away. It so tugs at my heart that so many women with SO much potential for SO many things, are, day in and day out, doing many things of importance for their families, but with a quiet & deep desire to learn and know, and READ... but have no opportunities to do so. I also pray that this is just the start of something... I pray for more opportunities in the future to give time and energy to wonderful women like Rhoda, with the vision that one day, they can pick up a Bible for themselves, read Jesus words, and be transformed by His truth on their own.

The girls that I work with in the clinic told me the other day, that Rhoda is the Mabaan equivalent of me... I'm not exactly sure that I agree, but I do take it as a great compliment... Rhoda is spunky and has attitude... perhaps therein lies the similarity :)
The day before I flew out I was over at Rhoda's for another lesson, and this time brought my camera. After I took the above picture of the two of us she said to me, "Katta, now take a picture of me with the book, and tell everyone at your home that I am learning to read!" :)

This is my friend Rhoda. And SHE is learning to R-E-A-D. :)

A good day to be me :)

Today was wonderful. And honestly, there haven't been too many days lately that could be qualified as "wonderful". :)

Today, was a Thomaji day (and I realize that I haven't given you a lot of information about Thomaji - I'll post my original info about Thomaji when I get to Nairobi - it's a real interesting read :) Anyway, I went out with Peter and Kamal (two of my favorite CHW's to go out with) and Sandra, a new girl here, from Canada, who is teaching with Barb at the CHW school. The place in Thomaji we went to is called "Bunj Tolgen" and is the home of the chief (if you know the story) who used really strong words with me at the beginning of our outreaches out there, and pretty much told me he thought I was 'just speaking nice words about coming out to help them, but didn't believe that we would ever come...' So, every time we have gone to Bunj Tolgen over the past three months, I always make a point of letting this Chief know that we have arrived, and will be there to weigh their children for the day.

SO! When we arrived today I got a super warm greeting from that chief, he kept his hand on my shoulder for a good minute after we'd greeted (a warm gesture in Mabaan),
AND he stayed the whole time during our bible and health teaching and weighing process (usually he finds something else to do) AND came over with me to assess a sick lady at the end of all that AND laughed at a joke I made :) Then, when we were leaving, Peter was explaining to him that that was our last day there until after the rains, he was totally understanding and just made a little speach about how happy he was that we'd come to do anything at all, b/c everyone else has ignored the people of Thomaji. I left him with the assurance that even though we would not be able to go out during the rains, I would be thinking of them and praying for them. This man was a big blessing to me day, and I praise the Lord for the encouraging steps forward I see in him, and in 'our' relationship. May he one day know and trust the Lord for himself.

It was also a wonderful day because we were able to start giving out the 500 mosquito nets I purchased (with ministry funds - many thanks to the hundreds of people who have contributed to that). We made many people happy :) I also go to see Mohammed, one of our favorite patients at the Doro clinic - a burn patient we had living with us for almost two months. I had lots of encouraging Mabaan moments (and let me tell you, THOSE are hard to come by these days too!), and was given lots of (undeserved) credit for 'knowing all of Mabaan' by the village ladies who delighted in talking with me and Sandra over coffee. It was a productive day too, we assessed and weighed 73 children, and 10 pregnant ladies, and gave out almost 80 mosquito nets. Let's see... what else... I got to stop, all be it quickly, in Gasmala and see many of the faces that I love so much. We biked back racing the rain the whole way and WON... we got back, wet, but beat the utter DOWN POUR just in time... AGAIN :) I had a wonderful shower in the rain - cold air, and sun-warmed water, while the sunset, that I couldn't see, turned the whole sky the coolest hazy shade of orange... I'm currently drinking my favorite Twinings Strawberry Vanilla Roibos tea, wearing my long lined pants and a sweatshirt :)

It was just a wonderful day to be me :) Which you could have traded me for a few hours to enjoy the bliss and challenge of living in Sudan - until the day when you can visit, you'll just have to live vicariously through this blog :)

I hope that were ever you are reading this from, that it was a good day to be you :)

Peace

Good News... Great News! The election results are finally in (after an almost 10 day delay) and, for the most part peace has remained in Sudan!! Praise the Lord :) This means that we are going home! I fly in less than 12 hours out to Loki (northern Kenya) where I'll stay tomorrow night, and then early on Friday morning I'll be Sudan bound yet again! :) After 5 weeks in Nairobi (that I thought was going to be 2)... I am VERY anxious to get back and see all those that I love. My Mabaan Mom and Dad are supposed to be coming to Doro to see me (I'm sure they also have business in town... I don't think I'm THAT special), and I'm excited to see our guys that we worth with everyday at the clinic... so many friends that I have missed!! Now I just need to be patient until I can get out to Gasmala and grab an armload full of my kids :)

Thank you... TRULY, THANK YOU for praying for this country during this past month. I am thoroughly impressed with the whole election process (in spite of many allegations of fraud and mismanagement that have plastered media - African media, that is - I sorta doubt that the west has covered this much) I am thrilled and flabbergasted that the people in the little corner that I live in even got to vote... Until you've seen the enormity and remoteness of Sudan (particularly the South) I don't think one should say too much about how badly the process was... I am impressed, and stating it for the record :)

May the Peace of the Lord continue to spread throughout this country and beyond.